MITTENS PENITENTIARY: 30-Day No-Contact Prison Calendar

Congratulations, inmate.
You’ve been sentenced to 30 days of hard time in Mittens Penitentiary. Crime: dopamine trafficking (a.k.a. catching feelings for the wrong person).

This is your printable prison calendar:

• Fill in your mugshot, booking date, and “inmate number” (or make one up)
• Mark each “day served” without breaking no-contact
• Relapse? You’re back to Day 1. No appeals. No visitors. Warden Mittens doesn’t do mercy.

If you survive the sentence, you’re officially a free agent.
If you don’t, the cat judge is always watching.

Who is this for?
Anyone who needs a visual, meme-tier way to actually stick to no-contact.
Perfect for:

• Breakup degenerates
• Ex-blockers and un-blockers
• People who only listen to authority when it’s a cartoon cat

PDF. English. Instant download.
Frame it. Cross off each day. Do your time.

FAQ :

Q: Is this a serious recovery tool?
A: Yes, if you actually use it. No, if you’re just here for the memes. Either way, you’ll laugh and maybe finally do the 30 days.

Q: Will anyone know if I cheat?
A: Only Warden Mittens—and your own guilt.

Q: Can I print this and hang it in my kitchen?
A: You’re supposed to.